The Big Wadge is a collection of insane ramblings and cultural musings from writer Peter Davidson. A collection of art. poetry, comedy and music that has tickled his fancy or disturbed his dreams.
Saturday, 28 February 2009
VARIOUS - That's My Birthday Sorted!
I want to play this now!!!! It even has the voice of William Atherton in it! That's right! William Atherton! Walter Peck!! Of the EPA!!! (Ie "Yes it's true... this man has no dick!").
POETRY - File Under 'Ouch.'
Next, Please
Always too eager for the future, we
Pick up bad habits of expectancy.
Something is always approaching; every day
Till then we say,
Watching from a bluff the tiny, clear,
Sparking armada of promises draw near.
How slow they are! And how much time they waste,
Refusing to make haste!
Yet still they leave us holding wretched stalks
Of disappointment, for, though nothing balks
Each big approach, leaning with brasswork prinkled,
Each rope distinct,
Flagged, and the figurehead with golden tints
Arching our way, it never anchors; it's
No sooner present than it turns to past.
Right to the last
We think each one will heave to and unload
All good into our lives, all we are owed
For waiting so devoutly and so long.
But we are wrong:
Only one ship is seeking us, a black-
Sailed unfamiliar, towing at her back
A huge and birdless silence. In her wake
No waters breed or break.
Always too eager for the future, we
Pick up bad habits of expectancy.
Something is always approaching; every day
Till then we say,
Watching from a bluff the tiny, clear,
Sparking armada of promises draw near.
How slow they are! And how much time they waste,
Refusing to make haste!
Yet still they leave us holding wretched stalks
Of disappointment, for, though nothing balks
Each big approach, leaning with brasswork prinkled,
Each rope distinct,
Flagged, and the figurehead with golden tints
Arching our way, it never anchors; it's
No sooner present than it turns to past.
Right to the last
We think each one will heave to and unload
All good into our lives, all we are owed
For waiting so devoutly and so long.
But we are wrong:
Only one ship is seeking us, a black-
Sailed unfamiliar, towing at her back
A huge and birdless silence. In her wake
No waters breed or break.
Philip Larkin
ART - Snapped Shots
COMEDY - I HATED YOU SIMON!!
Oh the course of true love or false love betwixt a man and a kitten never runs smoothly... sometimes bumply. Bumply is not a word but it looks good enough to be one.
MUSIC - A lil Bit Of Gomez
See the world
Find an old fashioned girl
And when all's been said and done
It's the things that are given, not won
Are the things that you want
Friday, 27 February 2009
MUSIC - Moonlight Sinatra
Been listening to the Nancy Sinatra album that was out a few years ago. The one where she works with Richard Hawley, Jarvis and Morrissey. Didn't realise it featured her cover of 'don't let him waste your time' the first single off Jarvis's' solo album. It's definitely one to check out. Obviously there's no video of it so instead I thought I'd go for Nancy and Lee Hazlewood with the great 'Summer Wine.' (Of which Evan Dando did a great cover of once).
COMICS - Poster Art
Been tidying up the LTC files for the website recently and admiring these great illustrations by artists David Campbell who designed the posters for most of our recent live outings. I usually gave him a one line brief and the results where always great. Cheers again David.
MUSIC - Scientific fact: It's different for girls!
Here's a little bit of Joe Jackson from 1979. It's a little Elvis Costello lite but I'm knicking it from it's current demise in drive time collections. Apparently it's different for girls, in the old comedy staple men and women be different and white guys drive like this... dum de dum...
Thursday, 26 February 2009
VARIOUS - The Phrase That Pays.
Hey! Do you like religion? Do you like T Shirts? Do you like homophobia? Do you like letting people know that your hand doesn't always go south on those cold winter nights? Do you like conformity in all it's rigid 'obey me' ways?
Then do we have the T Shirts for you! Hip! Happening! Slogans! Wow! Just visit 'The Passion 4 Christ Movement' website and you too can proudly be wearing these wicked ace T shirts.
Coming soon: Ex-tolerant and Ex-non patronising T shirts, available in all sizes... but not all denominations.
MUSIC - Cheery Go Bang Bang
Oh this song makes me smile... and the video makes me giggle... and the pesimism is great craic. Add to it some booty and some cake and what else could a body ask for?
Oh, a coffee. That would round it off nicely.
Wednesday, 25 February 2009
COMEDY - And I'll block the bookcase with my body...
After a spot of Mogwai, Poetry and feminist art what better way to relax than with this classic from 'Young Frankenstien' and many many impressions of Terri Garr's "Put ze candle beck!"
MUSIC - Dial Revenge
Maybe it's the writers block, maybe it's the mid week hump, maybe it's a miriad of reasons both old and new, tried and tested. Familiar thoughts in a caustic vein.
Maybe it's Mogwai with vocals from Super Furries' Gryff. Maybe it's just maybe.
ART - His & Hesse
Some examples of the work of Eva Hesse. Years ago I helped a friend do an essay on Eva Hesse (in that they did all the research and work and I faffed about with sentence structure). During that faffing you sometimes don't actually get time to appreciate the work and it's pieces like these that I really appreciate and like. Very textual, rough and yet fragile. Empty yet sprawling.
Tuesday, 24 February 2009
COMEDY - All Praise Tarvu!!
Say Hebbo! from Torvakian on Vimeo.
Tarvu bless Robert Popper (Look Around You, Time Waster Diaries) for the latest bit of greatness. I think this is development with adultswim so fingers crossed more will follow. (Plus a third 'Look Around You' would be nice as well but i always ;ive in hope).
VARIOUS - The Reel Thing
Frost/Nixon was a very enjoyable film. Frost won the debate but Nixon stole the show (oh madam irony). Fingers crossed for 'Through The Keyhole: The Movie' following this success.
MUSIC - Turn On the Bright Light
I had seven faces
thought i knew which one to wear
But I'm sick of spending these lonely nights
training myself not to care
the subway is a porno
And the pavements they are a mess
i know you've supported me for a long time
somehow i'm not impressed
But New York Cares (got to be some more change in my life)
New York Cares (got to be some more change in my life)
subway she is a porno
and the pavements they are a mess
i know you've supported me for a long time
somehow i'm not impressed
It's up to me now turn on the bright lights
It's up to me now turn on the bright lights
But New York Cares (got to be some more change in my life)
But New York Cares (got to be some more change in my life)
POETRY- Stubble.
Fresh beard on old face
Dirt clinging to each fibre
Penetrating the skin
bringing it to the fore
Shielding naked flesh
smothering cheeks deep
Holding in place the lines
Creating an illusion
Of difference
Though indifference
Is the true father
Of this shaded conception.
Grains of unsubtle stubble spike through
where soft kisses used to fall.
P Davidson 25/02/09
Monday, 23 February 2009
VARIOUS - Where It All Began...
Ah, the most listened to albums of my youth... I'm not saying that these are the cause of my radio comedy addiction but they certainly played an important part. If anyone knows if you can get an mp3 or cd of the full versions of these albums let me know (bits and pieces have been released on best of Muppets compilations but it simply isn't the same).
MUSIC - Push it Down, Pull it Up
These kids are the future of Brit Pop, mark my words 1996 is going to be a big year for Bis. You heard it hear first pop pickers!
COMEDY - Webb of Wonder
Don't think anyone quite expected this at tea time on a saturday evening... or actually the spectacle of something Comic Relief related actually being funny (as opposed to 'whacky' 'shit' 'annoyingly cloying and smug' and 'vicar of dibley-ish.').
Tuesday, 17 February 2009
ART - Beauty After The Beast
Just to make this page even more inconsistent than it already is (jumping from poetry to genital jokes and back) I thought I'd follow that with some of the most beautiful art work I've seen in a long time. That of Turner prize nominee Michael Raedecker. His canvas' often contain sewn or stitched elements that give them a real texture and feel. I think they're beautiful. I'm allowed to.
COMEDY - Flight Of The Gondry
Flight of the Conchords again (not my fault they're second series is five episodes in and one of the few things delighting a freezing cold February). This is a clip from the newest episode where they get a touch of the Gondry's (in a Daft Punk-ish way). Funny but frighteningly close to some shitty DJ grabbing this remixing it and having a novelty hit sensation that will ruin all their good work and lump them in with crazy frog and Mr Blobby. Careful where you tread and enjoy this while you can.
VARIOUS - Engrish
My sister told me about this website called engrish.com which is full of examples of badly translated English in foreign climbs... often with hilarious consequences!* (swear words and sexual innuendo). Now I'm sure the majority of them are photo shopped but some are genuinely funny. As the following picture shows you may leave the boys secondary school but the child like tittering never goes far.
MUSIC - Indie Tunes With Good Titles
You're not as messed up as you think you are
Your self-absorption makes you messier
Just settle down and you will feel a whole lot better
Deep down you're just like everybody else
He's not as clever as he likes to think
He's just ambitious with his arguing
He's crap at dancing, yeah and he can't hold his drink
Deep down he's just like everybody else
Get up and get down and get outside...
Monday, 16 February 2009
POETRY - Flicker
Fires fading into glowing red husks of twigs,
fractured, ignited, singed yet still glowing.
On an ashen bed the embers flicker
fighting for the fuel of oxygen
shedding sparks to the air
breathing in the night sky
to burn ever clearer,
this once great fire consumed itself
yet fights to it's flickering end
Giving what light
and warmth
that it can.
Giving all it can
to those who
ignited it.
Peter Davidson 16/02/09
Sunday, 15 February 2009
MUSIC - What Becomes...
I referenced this performance a few months ago when I was lucky enough enough to see it live. It's Duke Special and Neil Hannon duetting on 'What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted.' Even on this hand held footage you get some idea of the power and majesty of it. Moving, stunning, devestating and wonderful. Just is.
MOVIES - Tick Tick Tick....
It's now only a few weeks until the watchmen movie is upon us and to help get things flowing to new leveles of nerdvana is this trailer for 'Tales Of The Black Freighter.' It's the comic book within the comic book and an essential part of the all round mastery (geekery).
MUSIC - Romance & Violent Violins
What with this weeks underpinning theme of love, romance, weddings, stomach bugs and valentines day I thought I'd go for a little bit of Pulp's "Something Changed"
And all I have to say on that is this...
<3 :)
Tuesday, 10 February 2009
MOVIES - And A Sweet Tart
Brief pause for a comedy classic from The Marx Brothers. A rich following for the sorbet but a hearty meal all in all.
MUSIC - A Cleansing Sorbet
And after that tirade I thought I'd freshen the palette with a little amouse bouche in the shape of The Frank & Walters (I'm guessing from around 1993 / 94). This is "Fashion Crisis hits New York" but due to the unique new way You Tube embeds videos you know that already. Buzzkillingons!
VARIOUS - Gammy Grammy
Seven shades of wanker! Last night I caught some of the Grammy award celebrations on TV. I'm usually a placid television watcher, not really prone to shouting at the TV, more slipping into a catatonic stupor of despair.
But this one riled me.
Now I'm vaguely aware of the work of The Jonas Brothers, teeny pop phenomenon wrapped up and bottled with the usual Disney subtlety. Last night they duetted with Stevie Wonder on one of their songs before sliding seamlessly (like a turd off porcelain) into 'Superstition.' Stevie has done enough things of greatness to demand better respect than this, and I'm not one to play the' blind' card but this is tantamount to abuse of the disabled. The mugging preening urchins faked guitar playing whilst leaping around shouting 'Come on Stevie!!!' at annoyingly regular intervals.
Very very very very very very very very very irritating.
But this one riled me.
Now I'm vaguely aware of the work of The Jonas Brothers, teeny pop phenomenon wrapped up and bottled with the usual Disney subtlety. Last night they duetted with Stevie Wonder on one of their songs before sliding seamlessly (like a turd off porcelain) into 'Superstition.' Stevie has done enough things of greatness to demand better respect than this, and I'm not one to play the' blind' card but this is tantamount to abuse of the disabled. The mugging preening urchins faked guitar playing whilst leaping around shouting 'Come on Stevie!!!' at annoyingly regular intervals.
Very very very very very very very very very irritating.
COMEDY - A Hint Of Magnolia
Flight Of the Conchords second series continues it's path to greatness (mainly due to the even more extended presence of Murray the band's manager). In the third episode he reprises a song from earlier in the series... but instead it all goes a bit Magnolia. (See the amazing original scene below for geeky reference).
Sunday, 8 February 2009
POETRY - Miligram of Milligan
ART - Awards Season
It's award season as you may have notice. Slumdog Squarepants is picking up tonnes and tonnes of awards left right and centre. As part of the celebrations acclaimed photographer Annie Liebowitz has taken a bunch of photos of directors and their stars. The most poignant being the Heath Ledger and Chris Nolan. The most ridiculous being Baz Luhrmann and Nicole Kidman who even manage to over act in a still photo.
MUSIC - Black & White Greatness
Over the past year or so I've been battering away on a drum kit. Then you watch this excellent video and then you want to go batter the skins some more (note: not a masturbation metaphor).
COMEDY - Quality Nic Cage Impressions Are Go!
I've spent most of the weekend catching up with the one and only season of Studio Sixty On The Sunset Strip (One season... and yup, many many seasons of 'My Super Sweet Sixteen.' Oh the quality). One of the many highlights in it is the wonderful Nicholas Cage impression by Big Bang Theory's Simon Heldberg. He also does a great Tom Cruise.
Friday, 6 February 2009
PHOTOS - Some Classic Concept
COMEDY - The First Time Ever I Saw His Face
This clip from 1997 was probably the first time I ever saw Dylan Moran and lordy he's good. Unfortunately this isn't the full set with the 'why does nobody like my shoes' and 'when can we build the cheese hospital?' but it'll do for now.
Be happy with your gettin's
MUSIC - And The Oscar Should've Went To...
Here is some footage of Elliott Smith performing the sublime 'Miss Misery' at the Oscars. He lost out to Celine Dion and that bloody banty boat song.
Ill fake it through the day
With some help from johnny walker red
Send the poison rain down the drain
To put bad thoughts in my head
Two tickets torn in half
And a lot of nothing to do
Do you miss me, miss misery
Like you say you do?
A man in the park
Read the lines in my hand
Told me Im strong
Hardly ever wrong I said man you mean
You had plans for both of us
That involved a trip out of town
To a place Ive seen in a magazine
That you left lying around
I dont have you with me but
I keep a good attitude
Do you miss me, miss misery
Like you say you do?
I know youd rather see me gone
Than to see me the way that I am
But I am in the life anyway
Next door the tvs flashing
Blue frames on the wall
Its a comedy of errors, you see
Its about taking a fall
To vanish into oblivion
Is easy to do
And I try to be but you know me
I come back when you want me to
Do you miss me miss misery
Like you say you do?
Wednesday, 4 February 2009
WRITING - William Shatire
I've just completed my first fully brand new script of 2009. I've redrafted other stuff but that just doesn't count... as much... So here is just a brief extract from "That Was The Month That Was That Month." My brief attempt at satire...
ROBERTSON:
I’m glad you asked that Kirsty because I do indeed have a working prototype… if you don’t mind
ROBERTSON:
I’m glad you asked that Kirsty because I do indeed have a working prototype… if you don’t mind
(Metallic clunking noises as ROBERTSON strains with something heavy).
ROBERTSON:
This, this is a solid gold hand that we had made up… it’s 24 carat and modelled on Gordon’s very own podgy hand, so it’s a firm base… (Laughs) we tried modelling it on Alistair Darlings but that came out more like a claw…
KIRSTY:
(Shocked) Oh dear God… You… literally… meant a golden handshake.
ROBERTSON:
We literally meant a golden handshake, yes… with a big gold hand… You can slip it on, one size fits all… and look, “Grrrr!! Shake my big gold hand!!! Urrrrr!!!”
(There is a large metal clang).
KIRSTY:
Ow!! You just punched me in the face!!
ROBERTSON:
(Gulps) Sorry, it’s hard to judge distance and… (Cough) look... diamond encrusted knuckles!! Eh? Eh? (Putting on a bad robot voice) I… am... a… golden… robot!!
KIRSTY:
And what exactly are you going to do with these golden hands?
ROBERTSON:
Am… well, we’re having one made up for everyone who gets a new job…
KIRSTY:
You’re going to give one to every person? How much do these ‘handshakes’ cost?
ROBERTSON:
Near a hundred thousand each… but look! I’m giving the thumbs up like C3PO!
KIRSTY:
(Disgusted) A hundred thousand pounds each?
ROBERTSON:
(Awkward) If you… if you round down…
KIRSTY:
And will this sort of wasteful extravagance not further decimate the economy? How can you the government justify this spending?
ROBERTSON:
(Awkward) Hadn’t really thought about… that… (Coughs) I’m… I’m giving the thumbs up… like C3PO… might…
(Pause)
ROBERTSON:
(Defeated) We… we may have to rethink the strategy…
(Pause).
ROBERTSON:
That and my hand is stuck.
COMEDY - Juice and Hicks
Here's some rare Bill Hicks interview footage (well, rare is an interesting word in the world of You Tube). The plus side is that it's not just recycled Bill Hicks material, it's a nice little tale of his first paid gig. From ridiculous places greatness is born...
VARIOUS - Bras on The The Tracks
Bobby's in the basement, looking at a twin set,
I'm in the state penn, thinking about bras again...
I wonder what could have tempted Mr Zimmerman to sell out... Hmmm... or which add exec thought panties are good and all to look at but what this ad really needs is a grizzly old man in a cowboy hat...
Next week; Tom Waits hocks thongs and tassles.
MUSIC - One Fluid Gesture
Been uploading a lot of old albums for my ipod. Many cold trips to the attic and many slow computers winding me up... but on the plus side I listened to the first Placebo album again for the first time in years. So many memories and such quality; Nancy boy, 36 degrees, bruise pristine, hang on to your IQ and my personal favourite Teenage Angst. Oh Molko, you he/she singing delight!
Monday, 2 February 2009
POETRY - Origami Hearts
The ultimate unknowingness
Of another,
Is no surprise
When we barely know ourselves,
Is no shock,
When questioning motives
Form the motifs
Of our day.
Trust is built on fabric,
Shared exchanges under sheets,
Scent clinging to clothes,
In an ethereal embrace.
The delicate balance,
Of tender hearts,
Like origami boxes,
Of intricate detail,
But compromised strength.
We do not know ourselves
Or what we can do
If placed in the wrong hands.
Peter Davidson 02/02/09
MOVIES - Time For A Break with Iggy & Tom
Here's a scene from "Coffee & Cigarettes" by Jim Jarmusch. It's Iggy Pop and Tom Waits chewing the fat and supping coffee and it's sublime.
Sunday, 1 February 2009
COMEDY - Busom Buxton
There just should be more of Adam Buxton on TV. This is from his 'Meeebox' pilot whose non commissioning by BBC Three is still one of comedy's greatest injustices.
They just had so much more 'Two Pints Of lager' off shoots. Course they did because that's what the kids love.... that and hippity hops and howdies... I believe they call them.
MUSIC - Let's Get This Started...
Let's get February off to the right start and what better way to do it, Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds meets big booty shakers in the video for 'Bring It On.' It's a great video, so inappropriate but so appropriate and stunningly shot. Shake your booty and bump and grind with Nick Cave.
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