Tuesday, 20 January 2009

WRITING - Scientific Fact!

Sometimes you look back through old files and you find things of great worth and serious import. Othertimes you find things like this from a website I was working on in 2003. All these facts are one hundred percent true... in a way...


• East Berlin is the biggest producer of Turkey Jetters in the world.
• Leviticus (Chp. 12 Vs. 8) features the first recorded reference to “the Internet.”
• The average human head weighs exactly the same as two Dobermans with a squirrel’s noggin resting on top to make the difference.
• Uruguay is the biggest producer of potato waffles in the world.
• People in The Netherlands have no concept of Adam Woodyat.
• Putin’s mother suffered from a rare disease, which made her have to lie on her side every Tuesday. The disease was eventually cured with the aid of specialist shoes and a bag of catguts.
• TV funny man Ricky Gervais was once caught stealing biscuits from the blind.
• It is impossible to cast a shadow in Greenland.
• The Philippines is the biggest producer of Crispy Pancakes in the world.
• In Eastern Asia, Tito is widely regarded in as the most talented of the Jacksons.
• DJ Speedo Mac is the world’s fastest rapper. In 2001 he rapped at a rate that was scientifically recorded as eight words per second. It sounded a bit like a mung going downhill on a rusty bike.
• Linguists have found no plausible way of translating top cartoon ‘The Simpsons’ into Cantonese without deeply insulting the current prime ministers family, in particular his fat goofy wife.
• Bill Tarmey, TV’s Jack Duckworth, plays Jack Duckworth on TV.
• Lebanon is the biggest producer of Chicken Nuggets in the world.
• One in fourteen women suffer a condition known as opti-gratis mio-plaxis, which causes their left eye to pop out a bit further every second Sunday of the month. Many of these ladies suffer in silence and blissful ignorance.
• Terry Nutkins, ex-presenter of The Really Wild Show, has the smallest nipples in the British Isles.
• The best movie of all time is largely regarded as “Police Academy 6: City Under Seige.”

No comments: