VARIOUS - Wadge for Wadge

Found this old thing I did once when I had too much time on my hands... hmmm... do you think anyone would pay me to do more? Anyone? Hmmm? Anyone?

COMEDY - It's Me Favourite...

Okay, I'm overdoing the Peter Serafinowicz thing a bit. It was a good show taht never found an audience, not as strong as 'Look Around You' but that's cause it didn't have the same focus. Look at me, arm chair media lecturer that I am... But any show that has Charles Dickens Jam Corners, The Butterfield Detetcive Agency, Elephant & Train Magazine and this has got to be good!

VARIOUS - Jingle Bell Rock

Is the Christmas Spirit upon us yet? Tra la la la la la la... if you're feeling like Dan Akroyd above (either by accident or design) then this is the only thing that gives a direct christmas hit to the heart. Dedicated as always to that someone...

MUSIC - Harmonies for the haunted

After that last post there needed to be some sweet relief. It doesn't get much sweeter than 'Kings Of Convenience.' This is from their second album but if you get a chance search out their debut 'Quiet is the New Loud.' Shimmering stunning harmonies and heart breaking guitar. Particularly the track 'I Don't know What I Can Save You From.'

VARIOUS - Make This Stop Now!

How can BBC Northern Ireland sleep at night? Their Friday night comedy entertainment and Christmas Spectacular consisted of the following;

FOLKS ON THE HILL - A retarded teletext lite political satire voiced by the worst impressionists in the history of the art form. Tired cliches bang off rancid animation and all mixed in with self important inward yet backward political comedy.

AN EVENING WITH JAMES YOUNG - End of pier comedian (as in throw him off one) William Caufield rejigs a dead comedy corpse by recreating the work of Norn Irish Funny man Jimmy Young. You know, the one that hated and drunk himself to death? Did he die for nothing? Has NI not moved passed his panto style cliches and polite sectarianism that weren't even cutting edge thirty years ago where they should have remained.

And what other delights have they lined up? A one hour special from the Hole In The Wall gang based on their derided and failed sketch show...

"The Hole in the Wall Gang's latest creation, the fabulous motor cycle mad McDowell brothers, return to BBC One Northern Ireland for a one-hour special ‘Oh Brother Where Art Thou?’ The programme, from the creators of BBC Northern Ireland’s hugely successful Give My Head Peace follows on from the success of the gang's Dry Your Eyes series and sees Jonjo 1 and Jonjo 2 (Marty Reid and Michael McDowell) back on local screens. Damon Quinn who produces and stars in the programme said: "We couldn't resist the opportunity to write a script around the McDowell Brothers, who were one of the most popular characters to come out of Dry Your Eyes. We hope viewers will enjoy watching the programme as much as we have done making it!"

So lets recap shall we... bad animation, weak satire, tired old cliches and a stretched out failed sketch (if it was so successful why was it cancelled two years ago... and believe me it was cancelled). Seriously, what delusion sees this as a great strong line up? What was the last act BBC NI developed? The last time they took a risk with anything? Hole in The Wall Gang in 1992.

Rant over. Make this stop.

VARIOUS - It Starts Once It's Over

TV is an odd thing. Sometimes it feels like there is nothing on at all. A multi channelled myriad of half ideas, quizzes and lifestyle shows that empower the inner thin person by half an hour of quality patronising. Sometimes you loose site of some good shows and only discover them later through the joy of box set. It happened before with Buffy, Firefly and Seinfeld. Now I've got round to watching Alias. Half way through the first season and it's actually very very enjoyable. Yaay, I found a new show that ended three years ago!

(* I've already booked in 'Battlestar Galactica' for the next one).

PS: Oh Lordy, Quentin Tarrantino has just popped up in this episode... and did I hear somewhere that Ricky Gervais makes an appearance in a later season?

MUSIC - Claim it Back Now!!

Damn 'X Factor' and all it's ilk. In the words of 'Rage Against The Machine' we got to take the power back... Hallelujah is not supposed to be sung by talentless pop puppets in a vacuous display of over the top warbling and fist clenched emoting. It's to be done by Jeff Buckley, Rufus Wainwright, Kathryn Williams and people of that stature and craft. Above is Leonard Cohen performing the original and you wonder how it goes from this to it's current state.

In the words of Damien Rice 'Why do you sing Hallelujah, if it means nothing to you...'

VARIOUS - I Wanna Suck and Roll All Night!

See, told you the next one would be stupid... it's 'Kiss' at their action packed crime fighting best... oh wait, that's not their best. Playing some songs and wearing silly make up is their best. This, this is just embarrassing.

MUSIC - Ron Sexsmith & Me.

Ron Sexsmith holds a very important place in my life due to a very important night. Still think of that night often. Heard this song again recently, and the song and lyrics moved me a lot. Promise, next clip a more upbeat one.

I know it doesn't seem that way
But maybe it's the perfect day
Even though the bills are piling
And maybe Lady Luck ain't smiling

But if we'd only open our eyes
We'd see the blessings in disguise
That all the rain clouds are fountains
Though our troubles seem like mountains

There's gold in them hills
There's gold in them hills
So don't lose heart
Give the day a chance to start

Every now and then life says
Where do you think you're going so fast
We're apt to think it cruel but sometimes
It's a case of cruel to be kind

And if we'd get up off our knees
Why then we'd see the forest for the trees
And we'd see the new sun rising
Over the hills on the horizon

There's gold in them hills
There's gold in them hills
So don't lose faith
Give the world a chance to say...

A word or two, my friend
There's no telling how the day might end
And we'll never know until we see
That there's gold in them hills

There's gold in them hills
So don't lose heart
Give the day a chance to start

There's gold in them hills...
There's gold in them hills...

ART - Flowers Minus The Allergies

I saw a collection of Georgia O'Keefe's paintings and it reminded me that when she was good she was very very good and when she was bad she was a little bit flower vaj-tastic. Flowers to my flower. ;)

VARIOUS - Inspiration Comes Easy

In these dark days where depression stalks the land like a spider on stilts (couple of stilts, I mean it is a spider after all, we're talking four pairs) it can be hard to feel fired up and ready to take on the world and enbrace the day anew. So why not have a bunch of movie stars do it for you... with added Fozzie Bear. Stick with this for the full two minutes then punch the air in 'Breakfast Club' style glory.

POETRY - Give Me What I Need

Give Me What I Need

Poetry and laughter, how frivolous the sound

Where imminent disaster and misery abound

Les Fleurs du Malcontent lie strangled in the weed

You may never know what I want, but I know what I need.

A victim by profession; blame it on the girl

With the vacant possession of the sedentary world

I believe in miracles, it's written in the creed

Immaculate connection.

Give me what I need.

John Cooper Clarke

VARIOUS - I Throw My Shoes At You

This is brilliant wicked fun. I hope this starts a series of shoe throwing political attacks... Maybe Gordon Browne and some flip flops, Boris Jonson and a brogue, Kerry Katona and a welly boot full of dog muck and jelly (granted she's not a politician but oh what a lovely image).

VARIOUS - Bush Baby

Tee hee... look! Look at Bush! Look at him! And people actually questioned whether America was ready for Obama? Hmmm....

MOVIES - NNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEERRRRDDDD!

Yeah, the new Star Trek trailer is out. It could work but I'm sure the fans will be in uproar over things being slightly different. Yeah, much better to keep it the same and watch as it's franchised to death in an unending ad nauseum of slightly more watery characters and different head wear...

MUSIC - They will see us waving from such great heights...

Little bit of 'The Postal Service.' Such Great Heights is an amazing song and has been covered brilliantly by the likes of Iron & Wine and Ben Folds. Take time out to listen to the original and hear some seattle based indie pop that is genuinely uplifting. Hugs and kisses to those that need them.

VARIOUS - Did Charles Dickens like jam?

In the continuing list of positive blog entries I've included the excellent Peter Serafinowicz again with 'Charles Dickens Fruit Corners.'

My favourite bit the note saying 'store in refrigerated bookcase.'

Bless 'em.

VARIOUS - Somethings Make Your Soul Smile (Pish)

I have photoshop. It can be used for many many important things. I've used it to change Countdown so that Carol Vorderman spells out 'Pish.' Yes. That's Me. That's just what i do.

VARIOUS - Randy Old Bear

ON a further cheerier note... here is a classic from my childhood. It's Scooter and the fabulous furry free wheeling Fozzy Bear covering Randy Newman. It's there take on his classic 'Simon Smith & His Amazing Dancing Bear.'

VARIOUS - How Big Is The Whale?

Again, just fighting back against negativity and the like... This was posted on Graham Linehan's Blog 'Why That's Delightful.' It's a small clip that can't help but make people smile. Should be more of this in the world... Actually that last line sounded a bit negative too didn't it?

VARIOUS - Charlie Brown Is As Charlie Brown Does

This is the third Peanuts outing this week. It's another great Charlie Brown one. Forget Snoopy the show boating mutha. Chuck was where it was at.

MUSIC - Sweeter than a drop of blood...

Okay, so to combat growing reports of world weariness creeping into my reports (well one phone call... that I instigated) I've decided to go super chipper to the point of shitting myself. Okay maybe not that far... but anyway this is the Big Wadge with upped dosage! So strap your dancing shoes to your head and watch the very funny, very good video for Yo La Tengo's 'Sugarcube.' Enjoy.

VARIOUS - Further Peanut Related Wisdom

This is part two of my gut punching collection of Charlie Brown-isms. What follows is occasionally how I feel when I try to impress that important person in my life.

VARIOUS - 2FT BARRY WHITE!

These are idents from Harry Hill's TV Burp that... well... not so much rip off my comedy group as beat us to the punch again. Damn our lack of actual success. We have a character that we've written and recorded called 2ft Barry White. It's like when Justin Timberlake did 'Dick-in-a-box' a few years after we did 'cock-in-a-box.'

This means one of two things! Either my ideas are so good they're easily profitable! Or my ideas are ten a penny and any schlub in marketing can come up with them!

Yaay!

MUSIC - Told You I Should Go To Bed

Really, should a song as upbeat as this have lyrics as crushingly apt as this? Prince can stuff his 'Nothing Compares 2 U' up his plush purple velveteen hole. These lyrics by Stephen merritt of 'The Magnetic Fields' still hold true.

I don't want to get over you.
I guess I could take a sleeping pill
and sleep at will and not have to
go through what I go through.
I guess I should take Prozac, right,
and just smile all night at somebody new,
Somebody not too bright but sweet and kind
who would try to get you off my mind.
I could leave this agony behind
which is just what I'd do if I wanted to,
but I don't want to get over you

cause I don't want to get over love.
I could listen to my therapist,
pretend you don't exist
and not have to dream of what I dream of;
I could listen to all my friends
and go out again and pretend it's enough,
or I could make a career of being blue-
-I could dress in black and read Camus,
smoke clove cigarettes and drink vermouth
like I was 17 that would be a scream
but I don't want to get over you.

MUSIC - Quarter past what in the morning??

Again I'm having difficulty getting to sleep... My brain seems to pick one o'clock in the morning as the time to be the most alert. Script ideas, music ideas (recorded a piano tune today and have a great idea for a guitar part) and random Internet shite buzz round my head.

I then spend the first third of every day somewhere between comatose and depressed. Hmmm... cause and effect anyone?

So today's song is 'Day sleeper' by REM. Easily one of my favourite songs of theirs.(The others being 'Half A World Away,' 'Drive' and 'E Bow The Letter' for those who wants to know).

POETRY - Caffeine Fits

After Thoughts & Coffee Spoons

My soul,

Like sugar,

Dissolves with every stir.

Coffee beans bounce

Past perscriptive pills,

Both angling,

For Attention,

In the midst,

Of a mid morning

Coffee shop.

Peter Davidson 22/10/08

VARIOUS - The Wisdom Of Peanuts

I'm a big fan of Charles M Schulz's 'Peanuts.' Mainly the character of Charlie Brown who I sometimes strangely find myself empathising with. I was flicking through a number of peanuts strips and each one of the Charlie Brown ones definitely rang home stronger than just being a pithy skit. Oh, I like that phrase 'Pithy Skit'... sounds almost like a Dickensian urchin. I'll put on one every few days. The first one is about hope for the future...

MUSIC - Childish Is As Childish Does.

I'm so childish, a little bit wildish
With my rumdiddlyumdiddlyumdiddly, I'm so deep
Well I'm so garish, a little unfairish
The way I pick you up, and drop you in a heap

I'm so unfaithful, in fact I'm a plateful
I won't kiss her, but I'll stare her up all night
I'm a stormy little singer, an unstable little swinger
If you're coming, come prepared for a fight

Well I'm so childish, a little bit wildish
With my rumdiddlyumdiddlyumdiddly, I'm so deep
Well I'm so uncaring, do far too much swearing
And if you read through my behaviour, you'll find I'm a creep

I'll play a stormer, yet in the corner
I'll be grumpy on my own, like I don't care
I'm a stormy little singer, an unstable little swinger
With a big rip, in the arsehole of my flares

Well I'm so childish, a little bit wildish
With my rumdiddlyumdiddlyumdiddly, I'm so mad
I'm so truthful, a little bit bruteful
But in sooth I know not, why I am so sad

I try my bestest, well as far the restest
Well it's just stuff that comes out wrong, and gets misunderstood
I'm a dandy little dreamer, a doctored misdemeanour
A didactic destiny schemer, bare with me if you would...

COMEDY - ONE! TWO! TIT PIE!!!

A great sketch from 'Man Stroke Woman' with Nick Frost playing to his strengths. 'One, two, tit pie!!' It's the phrase that pays and should be next years 'am I bovvered' or 'yeah but no but' or the equally famous 'Trevor! That thing's got the face of methuzulah!

Yup.

MUSIC - Rise Up With Fists!

It's always good when two things you like are combined... In this video you have Jenny Lewis (of 'Rilo Kiley') along with the sexy funny Sarah Silverman! And they're both doing a spoof of 'Hee Haw.' What is not to love about that? Oh and the song is great too which I'm sure is an added bonus. 'Rise Up With Fists!'

LYRICS - Old Truths

Last night I saw Duke Special and the Divine Comedy battle it out in the name of Amnesty International. Amongst their set was a number of surprise covers including a beautiful version of Jimmy Ruffin's 'What becomes of The Broken Hearted.' A song that totally floors me and looking back on these lyrics still do. It just hits a little bit too close to home at the moment.

As I walk this land with broken dreams
I have visions of many things
Love's happiness is just an illusion
Filled with sadness and confusion,

What becomes of the broken hearted
Who had love that's now departed?
I know I've got to find
Some kind of peace of mind
Maybe.

The fruits of love grow all around
But for me they come a tumblin' down.
Every day heartaches grow a little stronger
I can't stand this pain much longer
I walk in shadows
Searching for light
Cold and alone
No comfort in sight,
Hoping and praying for someone to care
Always moving and goin to where

What becomes of the broken hearted
Who had love that's now departed?
I know I've got to find
Some kind of peace of mind
Maybe.

I'm searching though I don't succeed,
But someone look, there's a growing need.
Oh, he is lost, there's no place for beginning,
All that's left is an unhappy ending.

Now what's become of the broken-hearted
Who had love that's now departed?
I know I've got to find
Some kind of peace of mind
I'll be searching everywhere
Just to find someone to care.
I'll be looking everyday
I know I'm gonna find a way
Nothings gonna stop me now
I'll find a way somehow
I'll be searching everywhere

MUSIC - Just Where Our Bones Will Rest

Sometimes it's frightening how old you can feel. IMaybe it's just because I'm thirty one and watching some french hip hop vidoes... or maybe it's because I spent the weekend replacing seventy percent of my blood with rose wine...

Then you hear a song by Smashing Pumpkins and once again your seventeen and everything's cool and nothing hurts.

Particularly not my heart or my bank balance.

POETRY - The Dorty Larkin

Administration

Day by day your estimation clocks up
Who deserves a smile and who a frown,
And girls you have to tell to pull their socks up
Are those whose pants you'd most like to pull down.

© The estate of Philip Larkin

ART - Life Through A Twisted Lens.

Diane Arbus was a photographer who captured the other side of life. Sometimes in all it's chilling glory and sometimes magnifying the absurdities of our day to day.

I think sometimes we all see life like this...

VARIOUS - Somethings Make Your Soul Smile Pt .3

It's short, it's funny, it's got Ben Stiller as Bruce Springsteen... counting!

MUSIC - Well That's Enough...

Well that's enough I can't take anymore,
I'm right out of vision I'm right out of hope,
You set me up to just knock me down,
What's on your conscience nothing happens in my town

I'll do graffiti if you sing to me in French,
What are we doing here if romance isn't dead,
Mind your mouth as you walk with me,
Take care ooh as you cross the street

Well that's enough I've had it up to here,
I've lost my vision I've lost my hope,
You work me up just to hand me down,
You've lost your conscience cos nothing happens in my town

I'll do graffiti if you sing to me in French,
What are we doing here if romance isn't dead,
Stay in line on the foreign trip,
Waking up when I need a lift

I'll do graffiti if you sing to me in French,
What are we doing here if romance isn't dead,
Stay in line on the foreign trip,
Waking up when I need a lift

And that's enough

VARIOUS - You Killed My Accountant...

See more funny videos at Funny or Die UK

Peter Serafinowicz is all kinds of amazing. Here he is doing an inspired set of impressions and throwing away more amazing catchphrases than an entire team of writers could dream of.

Thanks Peter. Theter.

MUSIC - The boy.... THE BOY!!!!

In the quiet hours I've been strumming on my electric guitar. I've been thinking of writing some songs again... and then I think about what sort of song I'd like to write. Well, this sort of song would be awesome. It fires me up when ever I listen to it and I always have to hit the volume switch just so I can shout "the boy... the BOY!!!!" along with it.

I will never be able to write a song liek this so you'll just have to make do with The Raconteurs and 'Broken Boy Soldiers.'

VARIOUS - May Is The Month Of Quincy

This clip brings back too many memories of a bygone era of student friends drinking too much and then creating a shrine to the god like Quincy. To all those who lived in Stranmillis, I salute you.

MOVIES - Fumble In The Jungle

TROPIC THUNDER

Directed by: Ben Stiller
Starring: Ben Stiller, Robert Downey Jr, Jack Black, Brandon T Jackson & Jay Baruchel.
Screenplay by: Ben Stiller, Justin Theroux & Etan Cohen.
Rated: 15. Running time: 102 mins Distributor: DreamWorks Pictures.

Ben Stiller starring comedies pop up on a fairly regular basis. By now he’s made his way around at least half the leading ladies of Hollywood (Drew Barrymore, Jenifer Aniston and Cameron Diaz to name a few). A very different beast however is the Ben Stiller directed movie.

Ben Stiller has been directing movies ever since his film career began. It’s been a weird assortment of films that he’s added to his CV. He began with a Winona Ryder indie romance called ‘Reality Bites. Then he followed that with ‘The Cable Guy.’ This Jim Carrey film was a flop upon its initial release but has since found a cult audience and a switch in critical reception. It was all a question of timing as people where kind of ‘Jim Carrey’ed out at that stage and weren’t quite ready for his new dark direction. Timing is something he perfected to great aplomb for his next theatrical release. Stiller’s third film ‘Zoolander’ is his stone cold comedic classic. It’s an endlessly quotable tale of assassination and male modelling. Along with Anchorman it is one of the zeniths of recent American comedy.

So as his box office stature grew and he was teamed with yet another Hollywood starlet, critics and fans alike wondered what would happen next time he got behind the camera. Would he be able to top Zoolander or would we be all ‘Stiller’ed out by the time of its release?

Tropic Thunder, just like Zoolander, is a satire of a vacuous and egotistical world. This time Hollywood gets the boot and no part of tinsel town gets away unscathed. Stiller plays a washed up action hero unable to make the leap into proper drama. Robert Downey Jr plays a five time Oscar winning actor who only goes out of character after the DVD commentary. Jack Black is the drug fuelled fart peddling comedy guy who bares an uncanny resemblance to the late Chris Farley.

The film essentially plays as ‘The Three Amigos’ meets ‘Platoon’ as the spoilt actors end up getting involved in a real war without their knowledge. As they stumble through the jungle sometimes the gag rate hits an inconsistency. Occasionally this is because when they get it right it is so right that it’s a hard level to maintain. Other times it’s because some of the characters could do with more fleshing out. Jack Black, who usually rocks at this manic thing, only really comes to life later in this movie when he’s strapped to a tree. His wide eyed ‘Farley-isms’ just feel flatter than usual.

Maybe this is just in comparison with Downey Jr’s scene stealing turn as Kirk Lazarus, the most non politically correct character to appear on screen for some time. With ‘Iron Man’ and now this Downey Jr is at the peak of his career and it’s hard not to seem a little flat against that.

It doesn’t quite reach the Zoolander level of comedy highs. This might be because of the action element to it. Just like last weeks ‘Pineapple Express’ the humour in the final third does slow down in favour of some good old fashioned gun play. You get a lot more bang for your buck but a chuckle would do equally as well.

What ‘Tropic Thunder’ has proved however is that this is a good time for American comedy movies. This is the third successive week where a strong comedy has opened in the box office and for that I salute you.

That Ben Stiller. He’s so hot right now.

MUSIC - Push Play For Frustration

The Walkmen are a band that haven't exactly been blessed with a tonne of success. They kind of got sweeped along in the wave of Strokes-lite haircut bands of the early '00s. Though 'The Rat' by them is one of the best guitar songs written. It pumps with Joy Division like intensity and has lyrics that are barked through with such intensity. The faster blunter male version of 'Maps' by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

ART - Hopper State Of Mind

I haven't posted an art pic in a while. I've gone for Edward Hopper in connection to the previous poem and also because I think, more than anything, he reflects how we sometimes all feel. I'm definitely in a Hopper state of mind these days. The pic below is one of his most famous entitled 'Automat' and I think, male or female, we've all felt like that before.

POETRY - Single Cinema Seat

Single Cinema Seat

I am alone in my row
Two couples flank and mock me
But perched eloquently
in a squat like stance
is a mysterious figure.

A Lady.

A Fellow Single Cinema Seater.

Maybe I should meet her
or attempt to greet
someone as lonely as I

She may feel empty inside
she may even have died
and that is why

she's not moved in half an hour.

Peter Davidson 08/04/2002

VARIOUS - Film Posters Be Crazy

The above image is the Polish poster for 'Weekend At Bernies' which is far better than the actual film weekend at Bernies. This looks like something the Oscars would love. You really can't judge a book by it's Polish artistic representation.

MUSIC - Husker Do's & Don'ts

It's back in time with a bit of Husker Du. I was going to go with Maximo Park but then I uncovered this lil' video from their 'warehouse songs & stories' album and it reminded me of the wonderfully wonderfully brilliant Bob Mould.

Wish most garage bands these days would stop the 'stop start' jaggy guitar schtick and go back to fuzz and melody.

COMEDY - FANTASY FESTIVAL #1

After the depressing honesty of that last bit (I say honesty but it's not like I wrote that song so... fifty fifty)I decided to a comedic thing and start compiling my comedy greats.

Everybody is knackered after the comedy festival but now I'm going to start with my COMEDY FANTASY FESTIVAL LINE UP.

If I had my own comedy festival and all the money in the world, and didn't have to worry about attendance or Derry audience's lack of knowledge of anything they haven't been battered over the head with on BBC One, then this is what I'd pick!!

#1 - DANIEL KITSON.

I've seen him about four or five times in the past and I could do with another Kitson fix. Mmmmm... Fixton.

LYRICS - Sometimes other people say it better...

The future takes us where it leads

Our heads just go beneath the waves

Time tells all and we obey

But how can I be mad at you

You did what you did

And you followed through

You were the one who always said

'Forget it and move on'

But I'm not sad, I'm just disappointed

And I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed

Well the years they get on top of you

The working load it tallied up

And you went down

Beneath it all like anybody would

And I'm just ambling on in this town

I can't get out and it drags me down

And these words don't really fit what I'm feeling now

But I'm not sad, I'm just disappointed

And I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed

And you're not lost, you're just misdirected

And we're not going, oh nowhere

THE FRAMES - Disappointed (From 'For The Birds').

MUSIC - Belfast & Sebastian

Apparently 'Belle & Sebastian' are releasing a BBC Sessions Album in November which will include a second CD of a concert live from Belfast. Now judging by the set listing and distant memories I think this is a recording from the Mandella Hall in about 2002 0r 2003 where they played whilst being supported by The Frames.

It certainly is a nice surprise and I feel all bands should launch albums of concerts I have attended and can just about remember. It seems almost the courteous thing to do. You could go ahead, get wasted and really enjoy the gig safe in the knowledge there will be a pristine edited highlight compilation waiting for you when the booze settles.

The track listing includes the following... Classic Belle...

'Here Comes The Sun''There's Too Much Love''The Magic Of A Kind Word''Me And The Major''Wandering Alone''The Model''I'm Waiting For The Man''The Boy With The Arab Strap''The Wrong Girl''Dirty Dream # 2''Boys Are Back In Town''Legal Man'

POETRY - Gr8 Wrds

GR8 WORDS

To text or not to text,
That is the affliction,
as weighty tomes fight off
recycled ring tones
and polyphonic paralysis
grips the reader with fear.

To text or not to text,
that is the addiction,
the conscription
that has captured us all
as the soldiers of 'Jamster'
march forever onwards
on the graves of metaphor
and great words
gone before.

Peter Davidson 13/06/05

COMEDY - Wednesday, wednesday, wednesday

This is usually a non Love the Concept blog. And for all 'Love the Concept' stuff look nay further than 'http://www.lovetheconcept.co.uk' and then shout at me to get round to updating it.

Anyway The concept have been as busy as beavers... yes, beavers... Prepping their new show and enjoying the delights of the big tickle comedy festival. We've already opened for David O'Doherty (nice gig, nice crowd) and seen Fred Cooke, Robbie Bonham, Reginald D Hunter and Colin Murphy all do sets... and we're only three days in.

Next week we have a show with Edinburgh winner Phil Nichol who is a manic ball of Canadian energy so fingers crossed we can keep a strong set and do ourselves proud. I first heard of Phil Nichol when he was in a group called 'Corky & The Juice Pigs'. Below is an example of their classic song 'the only gay Eskimo'...

MUSIC - Shouty Quick Indie Kids

Okay, making it modern now with 'Los Campesinos!'... I don't know much about this band except that in under two minutes they managed to make one of the catchiest songs I've heard since the last time I talked about a song being really catchy.

Most of my new music is filtered through respectable mags for the ageing connoisseur (magazines like Word and Uncut) and so apart from the cursory look at music news on NME.COM I really couldn't make a claim to any zeitgeist style finger on pulse.

So I don;t know if this song is hip with the kids, or if I should just be silently shuffling in my duffle to a dinosaur Jr reissue and stop embarrassing myself... but I like it. And at 1 min 50 you should too!

MUSIC - Okay, one more 90s music thing...

Alright then, this is the last bit about mid nineties alternative rock... for now... but just read that 'Ben Folds Five' would be reforming for a one off gig and it just made me think about all the classic line ups I'd love to see. I have seen Ben Folds live but without Darren Jessee and Robert Sledge so to saee them together would be all types of quality.

Same with the Lemonheads, I've seen them several times but never the Dave Ryan and Nic Dalton set. In addition my anally retentive autistic list wouldn't be complete without the original Smashing Pumpkins line up of Billy Corgan, James Iha, D'Arcy Wretzky and Jimmy Chamberlain. (Paid to see them but then never got a chance).

And finally to see R.E.M. reunited with Bill Berry would make me skip and jump and hop like a good 'un. I saw them just before he left and I love their stuff old and new but to hear them rattle through Orange Crush, Begin the Begin, The One I Love, Electrolite etc would just be magical.

Okay, fan boy day dreaming over...

http://www.nme.com/news/ben-folds-five/39477

MUSIC - It Really Is About Time

Today it's The Lemonheads with 'It's About Time.' I can't believe I've gone this long without a lemonheads track on here so there really couldn't be a more apt song. Plus it ties into a number of other things too. My sister is currently in labour and has been on and off for the past three days so I'm sure she would appreciate it. My other sister has just received the first review of her new book and it's a glowing response so that's great to hear too.

As for me, looks like I'm in the long wait so I'll just have to content myself with this early Dando classic. Also only just noticed but he does actually snog a very young Angelina Jolie in this video, not bad for the a lanky big hippy with dubious nineties clothes. I promise the next video will be from this decade just to redress the old fart balance.

VARIOUS - Somethings Make Your Soul Smile

In the world of crappy remakes then can be none greater than Neil laBute's pointless 'Wickerman' remake. What really does help things though is when someone can do something as wonderful as this with some of the scenes.

Particularly great when passed through the Jim lecky school of performance and repeated to drunken delight ad nauseum. "The bees... the bees are in my eyes... oh the bees!"

VARIOUS - Well... Kind of MUSIC too

I stumbled across this My Space site of the actor Matt Berry (The IT Crowd, Dark Place, Mighty Boosh). I've been watching the DVD of his mental TV show 'Snuff Box' and couldn't get the theme tune out of my head for ages.

http://www.myspace.com/mattberrysmusic

I was trying to find where I could get a copy of it and it's available here to download for free! Yaay! It's the song entitled 'Get Here In Time.' If you haven't seen 'Snuffbox' it's well worth a look... though seriously it is mental and full of effin' and jeffin' which is not for the faint of heart.

MUSIC - It's just too heavy for Superman to mend

I've been listening to a lot of Flaming Lips recently... possibly because so many people have been rubbing it about missing the Lips, Mogwai and Oppenhiemer at Belsonic this year. 'Waiting For Superman' is probably my favourite track by them and so that's probably why I picked that one. Yeah, that's just the kind of way I operate.

VARIOUS - CSI Memammy

Now first off I need to say that I'm not actually a fan of CSI. I'm aware of it and I applaud the fact that they're helping pay the bills for the remaining members of The Who (Particularly Pete Townsend who has been slaving over his book for his book deal for quite some time now).

Though having said all that I have to say that Horatio from CSI Miami is one of the greatest TV creations for quite some time. Played by the wonderfully untalented ham fest that is David Caruso... this cartoon captures his appeal brilliantly.

VARIOUS - Vicarious Awards

"David O'Doherty is nominated for Let's Comedy. The judges say: 'Effortless charm with song'. We say: 'When a stand up gig goes this well, you do get a sense of how religions are started." - The Guardian.

D O'D is nominated for this years If.comedy awards which means if he wins (which he should though Kristan Schaal from Flight of The Conchords is in with a shot too) means that our show on the 5th of September will be the hottest comedy ticket in town. Yaay vicariously us!

MUSIC - Late In the Day

Tonight i saw a pub cover band do an actually great version of 'Moving' by Supergrass and it reminded me what a great band they were. I think I had every single they ever released until quite recently and the demise of the CD single. I tried to find the video for moving and instead settled for this gem from there 'In It For The Money' album. Best use of pogo sticks ever.

MUSIC - The First Day With No Rain

For what seems like an eternity Derry has been engulfed in rain, water and depression. Today had a light reprieve and so to celebrate we have an old classic by Blind Melon from about 1993. It's still a great hippy-ish bounce along of a song that should light any ones spirits. Enjoy.

WRITING - Scene from 'Stilted.'

I'm currently redrafting an old script called 'Stilted' to send to my agent whilst I build up the muster to crack on with the new Vespertine episode (also have three other ideas plotted and ready called 'Inches,' Tiny Destiny' and 'Rebound' as well as that film script I really want to write. Anyway this is a snippet from it and a bit I am very much proud of. It's to do with charity collectors and their tactics

TINA:
Excuse me; do you have a moment or two? It’s for a good cause.

DARREN:
Oh Lord…

TINA:
Hi, I’m a very pretty woman and I have very willing eyes… would you like to give all your money to charity?

DARREN:

I’m not sure…

TINA:
It’s a good cause, a simple direct debit and in next to no time midgets in Kwalalumpa will be having the time of their tiny lives…

DARREN:
(Confused) Midgets in…

TINA:
I’m a very pretty woman.

DARREN:
Well, you’re certainly… yes…

TINA:
Would you like to give all your money to charity to try and impress me?

DARREN:
This is very…

TINA:
I have a piercing.

DARREN:
The midgets… in…

TINA:
Kwalalumpa.

DARREN:
Kwalalumpa, yes, what will they get exactly…?

TINA:
A trampoline. I’m a very pretty woman.

DARREN:
But…

TINA:
I can use words like ‘undulating.’

DARREN:
(Turned on) That’s a big word.

TINA:
Would you like to give me all your money? I have a pink bra under my cagoule.

(Pause).

DARREN:
Will… credit card do?

ART - Hockney Go Bang Bang

I was designing a new CD compilation cover and looking for some pics. I stumbled across these ones by David Hockney. I'd used a few of his pieces before and I really like this late sixties style of his. I didn't go for all the ones of young naked men in swimming pools as it didn't necessarily fit the compilation i was making but I thought I'd share a few here.

VARIOUS - A Taste Of Peanuts

This isn't the best example of Charles M Schulz's work but sometimes it just pays to remember how great they can be. This one was the panel of the day on my birthday this year.

MUSIC - Songs for holding people

Okay soppy or sentimental or anything, if you ever want to hold somebody or have somebody hold you then this is the song. It's by Clem Snide's Eef Barzelay and shows just why they're totally with out condition one of my bands.

Open to hugs.

POETRY - Improv On A Drunken Friday

Glasses Raising Questions

My glass raised
No longer shines
From the smile
That was facing

It now faces
A sea of sentiment
When all that was meant
Was a toast to all
You once meant to me

And lips to glass
I drink deep
Fom the emptiness
Of the occasion
And pour myself another
As round two begins

P. Davidson 16/08/08

POETRY - Potato and Rhymes

Poem de terre

I'm not a normal person
whatever that may be
there is something very very vegetable
about me,
this human skin I'm skulking in
it's only there for show,
I'm a potato.
When I told my father
it was something of a blow,
he was hurt
and he called me a dirty so-and-so.
He kicked up a racket
and he grabbed me by the jacket;
I said, 'Daddy will you pack it in
I need you for my father not my foe
Daddy, will you try and help me grow,
won't you love me for my blemishes
and look me in the eye
before one of us is underground
and the other says goodbye?'
And he said 'No'.

When I was a schoolboy
I never knew why
I was so crap at cross-country running
but now I know
why I was so slow.
I'm a potato.

By John Hegley.

MUSIC - Terror Twilight Time

And now we have a bit of Pavement from their last album 'Terror Twilight.' It was produced by Nigel Godrich in his hotter than now phase (just after OK Computer and Beck's Mutations). In typical pavement fashion it sounds like five songs at once but it's so good. Listen to Kathryn Williams or Nickle creek's cover versions for further emphasis.

MOVIES - The Mummy

INDIANA GROANS!

THE MUMMY – TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR.

Directed by: Rob Cohen.
Starring: Brendan Fraser, Maria Bello, Jet Li, Michelle Yeoh, John Hannah & .
Screenplay by: Alfred Gough & Miles Miller.
Rated: 12A. Running time: 112 mins Distributor: Universal Pictures.

Sequels are very big business in Hollywood. They fall distinctly into two categories. The first is public demand for a further adventure to a hugely successful outing. The other one is when Mr Hollywood flogs a movie franchise for one more glass of milk from the cash cow.

These are films that people haven’t asked for and could quite happily do with out but pop up to grab money before anyone can question the futility of their existence. I’m not sure who out there asked for a new ‘X Files’ movie, I don’t know who was not sleeping impatiently waiting for another ‘Fast and The Furious’ and I particularly don’t know who thought ‘The Mummy’ needed a third return.

Rachel Weisz didn’t think that it was a good idea. After two outings as Evie O’Connell she’s had enough. The departure of one of the main cast usually sounds quite a large death knell. However in a film about reanimating dead flesh we should never count our chickens so easily.

Weisz is gone but in her place and with faux British accent attached is the great Maria Bello (The Cooler, A History of Violence). Unfortunately what seems like one of the few positive things about this re-launch soon becomes one of its biggest flaws. Our two main heroes Rick and Evie just don’t have the same sparkle they first had. Brendan Fraser and Bello just don’t connect in the same way and are hampered some of the worst casting and chronology of recent years. They are quite simply the youngest retired archaeologists we’ve seen. At least Indiana Jones had the decency to look haggard this year before being thrust back into the fray.

Also the O’Connells are still lumbered with the worst thing to ever happen to the series; their child. He was annoying enough to ruin ‘The Mummy Returns’ and now he’s back and even worse! He’s now no longer a simpering English kid but a Matt Damon lite American (i.e. blander than a bag of nothing). He also seems to be about 26 or 27. No wonder Fraser and Bello seem so strained. They must have had a kid together when they were five.

This huge ridiculous flaw undermines an already ridiculous movie. When they then ad to the mix one of the clunkiest scripts I’ve heard in recent years then no one is safe. The plot involves Jet Li’s evil emperor coming back form the dead to raise his terracotta army (that’s right, they’re referred to as a terracotta army like the worlds most evil interior designers).

This film has Michelle Yeoh and Jet Li as its co stars but it still constantly falls for ‘The Mummy’ movies general failing. “Why use they’re real life skill when a tonne of CGI will do the trick instead?” As Jet Li morphs into many stupid creatures you’re reminded of The Rock’s ridiculous transformation at the end of the Scorpion King, one of the worst pieces of CGI the world has ever seen.

The only plus about the Mummy’s latest outing is that it does seem to know when it’s being stupid and pulpy (attack of the yetis anyone?). Unfortunately that doesn’t save a film that’s big on action and spectacle but so slow on brains and logic that you just can’t invest.

And sticking John Hannah in to say something stupid every two minutes doesn’t get you off the hook either.

MARKS: 2/5.

MUSIC - Up Beat and Low Key.

I thought we'd go with upbeat and cute with today's music (that and the Elliott smith video wouldn't embed properly. Oh Elliott, you laugh bundle!). So instead we've got Gary Lightbody and The Reindeer Section, the Scottish indie super goup featuring members of Snow Patrol, Belle & Sebastian, Arab Strap, Idlewild, The Vaselines and Astrid. 'Son Of Evil Reindeer' is still easily the best thing Mr Wobbly head has ever done. Check out 'Grand Parade' or 'Budapest' from it for reasons why.

VARIOUS - Picture Puzzle.

Here is a picture with a hidden coded hidden code that if you get will make you smile, and if you don't you'll probably just have me sanctioned.

VARIOUS - And Now For An Ad Break....

Yup, this is all types of wrong and gaining some notoriety. Well, we all drunkenly talked about for ages last night. At least it's got people talking about Orangina again. I hadn't heard mention of since a primary seven school trip to Paris where it was described as 'like fanta, but pish.'

Watch below and think the following words... 'How? What? Eh?' in that order

VARIOUS - Why Do Movies Suck? (Discuss)

I am still stuck for a movie review this week as... is often the case... all the films currently showing are poo on a stick. Or if not downright poo on a stick then just crushingly mediocre. From pointless retreads (The Mummy 3, The X Files) to bottom shelf kids films (Space Chimps, The Fox and The Child). It's just irritating when you know there's good films on the way (Burn After Reading, Tropic Thunder, Hellboy 2). If anyone wants to write my review this week that's fine by me.

VARIOUS - A Picture Paints A Thousand Words

I'm in the middle of redrafting a number of scripts. As mentioned earlier we have two very big important shows coming up and I've started into them at probably one of the least funny times of recent years. I was thinking of doing something on all the important comedians who have influenced me, also to help reignite any inspiration. Then I saw this picture of Woody Allen and remembered why most comedians get into comedy. It's usually the main focal point of all inspiration.

It all makes some sort of success. Colm Arbuckle, a producer at BBC Radio Foyle, once mentioned to me that the reason man has achieved anything is to get his 'hole.' That then lead to this sketch...



At the moment I just want them to be funny and then I can worry about living... where soul meets body...

See below.

MUSIC - And Your Back In The Room.

Today it's the turn of 'Death Cab For Cutie's 'Where Soul Meets Body'... A great song, video and band and just seems to fit today as my emotions bob up and down like an episode of Jeremy Kyle made out of jelly.

That last bit may have taken away all the sentiment of the first section. I am aware of that now.

POETRY - Just Thinking On Something

I Rely On You

I rely on you
like a Skoda needs suspension
like the aged need a pension
like a trampoline needs tension
like a bungee jump needs apprehension
I rely on you
like a camera needs a shutter
like a gambler needs a flutter
like a golfer needs a putter
like a buttered scone involves some butter
I rely on you
like an acrobat needs ice cool nerve
like a hairpin needs a drastic curve
like an HGV needs endless derv
like an outside left needs a body swerve
I rely on you
like a handyman needs pliers
like an auctioneer needs buyers
like a laundromat needs driers
like The Good Life needed Richard Briers
I rely on you
like a water vole needs water
like a brick outhouse needs mortar
like a lemming to the slaughter
Ryan's just Ryan without his daughter
I rely on you

© H Presley 1994

VARIOUS - Somethings make your soul smile pt 2

Repeat after me... deep breath....
CHHHHAAAAARRRRRRRLLLLIEEEEE MMMMURRRRPPPPHHHYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MUSIC - The Best Of Times, The Worst Of Times

Today's song is in tribute to the night I've just had. Definitely a night of extremes and differences. From parties, kids, the past, the future and and a large selection of drinks. My life still springs off in directions I never thought possible. The fact that it's a great song and video must also be taken into account. This song goes out to Radiohead tattoos and fake glasses.

VARIOUS - Far funnier than it has any right to be

Bad words are funny. In a moment of lunacy I found this far funnier than I should have. It's got swear words and badly dubbed ones at that.

VARIOUS - Edinburgh Fever

I hope next year to be able to take the comedy group back to Edinburgh and give the show a proper outing in front of proper people with big faces and heads. In the meantime I have to content myself with the guardian's podcast and hearing about what's hot and what's not.

I checked the local paper and we are not hot, but are day of tepidness must soon be at hand

http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/audio/2008/aug/06/edinburgh.comedy.podcast.04

MUSIC - That Kneels Before Zod

This song is on here today just to, well, reassure you... and myself mainly... that even when things are going bad you can have good music and a hug from Terrence Stamp. It's got an opener that legally requires you to have a big grin. If it doesn't work, you are breaking the law and you will be dealt with.

(* the law you will be breaking is Phyllida Law, Mother of Emma Thompson, so be nice!).

POETRY - Part Two.

Cultural Diversity On A Translink Bus.

We're only multicultural
if one of us becomes jaundiced,
our ethnicity exits primarily,
in our compilation Cd's,
and multi channel,
multi coloured remotes.

we are so white we give off a glare,
it's our ability to stare,
like the mild test of the intolerant.

today's example sits three rows forward,
it's the greying hair of a black man
that has captured my attention too long.
Like a piece of exotic wonderment
akin to a bally jumper collecting dust
but different enough
to the paint scratched barnettes
of the standard
greying temple.

and I ponder
whether I'll go to hell
for noticing a difference
and commenting upon it.

VARIOUS - Something's Make Your Soul Smile

Does exactly what it says on the tin.

MUSIC - Your Love Is Standing Next To Me

This song has been stuck in my head for the past three or four weeks. It's not hard to see why. Scott Walker strings? Check. Alex Turner's lyrics? Check. Video by Richard Ayaode (Moss, Dean Learner)? Check.

What's not to love?

REVIEW - The Love Guru

HARD TO LOVE.

THE LOVE GURU

Directed by: Marco Schnabel.
Starring: Mike Myers, Jessica Alba, Romany Malco, Verne Troyer, John Oliver & Justin Timberlake.
Screenplay by: Mike Myers & Graham Gordy.
Rated: 12A. Running time: 87mins Distributor: Paramount Pictures.

Oh Mike Myers. How the mighty have fallen... or could that be how the mighty kept doing the same schtick until audiences grew tired of it? After a six year absence of original material Mike Myers is back. Has he reinvigorated his canon to come back with something startlingly new and fresh, you know like when he made his come back with Austin Powers?

No. Not even slightly. The bad accents, the over long improvisation, the weak sex jokes and the assorted midget bashings are all still flailing around for dear life unaware of their tired status. This film has done abysmally bad in America and hopefully will serve as a proper wake up call that his time out seemed to forget to do.

Don’t get me wrong, I wanted ‘The Love Guru’ to be good. I would actually like to watch a genuinely amusing Mike Myers film again (just like recapturing the joy of an early Adam Sandler film). You see in my early teenage years I was quite the Myers fan. He was both a great writer and performer and his opening ‘Wayne’s World’ movies had tonnes of great moments; ‘So I Married an Axe Murderer’ was also a highly quotable delight and his real unsung gem.

Then after a few years away he returned with Austin Powers and never looked back. Two sequels and international fame as Shrek meant that his success was never greater but suddenly the films started getting worse. They started getting crasser and more stupid. This all resulted in ‘The Love Guru’ which is the first bonafide stinker in his repertoire. It tells the tale of the Guru Pitka, an inspirational guru with a penchant for childish rhymes, who travels to Toronto to help reunite a disgruntled hockey player with his wife. That’s the plot minus an over indulgence of fart gags, sex gags and unbelievable romances.

It seemed like not only had he started going for weaker jokes but putting a lot of desperate energy into hammering them home. The distracting elements of the Austin Powers movies have grown in stature film by film (wee jokes, poo jokes, innuendo laden names that really only make 12 year olds giggle).

The accents got worse and the improvisational moments now seem laboured. It’s like Myers is too famous for people to stop him and explain ‘you know… that’s just not funny.’ There are a number of scenes in this film where people giggle and laugh at his silliness and it’s one of the most forced awful things I’ve ever seen. In one scene Jessica Alba turns to him and says mid giggle ‘I haven’t laughed like that in years.’ She really hasn’t and that shows no sign of changing.

It would be nice to see Myers go for something resembling his earlier clever fun stuff (just look at Dr Evil’s speech in the first Austin Powers to see how good he can be). He could do something silly and smart rather than shrill and annoying. The only reason he seemed to want to do this film is so that he could hang out with his favourite hockey team the Toronto Maple leafs. It is that self indulgent a movie.

Mike Myers can make funny films and you can see where traces of humour can be found here but it really is time that he lost a lot of his trademark moments and just found what was funny again. Also he should never be allowed to work with Verne Troyer again. That midget stuff was funny once, for about five minutes in 1999.


MARKS: 2/5.

MUSIC - Adventures of a Thirty One Year Old

Well for the first piece of music on this site I thought I go for this frighteningly apt track from Aimee Mann. I've been thirty one for a week now and it's been a booze soaked affair of fun and longing. Still missing someone important, still writing, still hoping to earn money soon... take it away Aimee!

POETRY - Part One

In Emergency, Break Glass.

In moments of emergency,
You shatter like glass,
Fragmenting and then slicing deep,
Into the skin,
Of the sin bearing
Surrounding mass.

The delicate sound smashing
the deadliness of fragility,
A shard in the eye.
For I amongst many
misjudged,
what I thought,
I could see through.


Drunken Allegiance.

With eyes unfocused and lips wet
with the promise of alcohol,
He swore his allegiance to the frown,
of the gown dressed sweet heart,
he'd drunkenly forgotten,
And lost his footing,
and crashed to the floor,
In more ways than one.

Opening Shout Out To All My Homeys

Hi there. This is my first blog and I won't be using it exclusively for 'Love the Concept' things... though probably a bit...

But can I just plug the fact that my comedy group what I write and act in will be playing the Magner's Big Tickle Comedy festival on the 5Th of September with David O'Doherty and 10Th September with Phil Nichol.

Can't wait but really should crack on with finishing writing the material first of all.